Kristina's Essay Review

Kristina did a fantastic job with her essay. The content that she provided definitely assisted with her argument. Her quotes were very well implemented and definitely helped show the major pay gap that occurs between females and men, especially in sports. Her introduction immediately drew me in, specifically with the major difference in pay between the U.S. men’s and the women’s team. Definitely hooks the reader in right away since it is so incredulous to the audience. It provides this wow factor that makes the reader crave for more from her essay, and they definitely won’t be disappointed. She definitely makes a great point about how the media wrongly portrays women when it comes to sports. She definitely makes some strong points about how the media oversexualizes women which could detract from the amount of viewers and supporters that the women could possibly have. Although her essay centered on soccer, I think it would be even more effective if other sports were brought into the equation. What is the pay gap between male and female swimmers for instance? The Olympics would be a great event to see how big the pay gap is between male and females in the different sports represented there. Honestly, her paper does a great job with just having a focus on soccer. I loved how she brought the differences in wages between coaches of male teams and female teams into the equation. It shows that not only are females getting underpaid, but male coaches who teach female teams are also underpaid. All in all, her paper is very well done and I would love to see what she can do with her conclusion paragraph.